Healing is not entirely about forgiving yourself and forgiving others. Although forgiveness is essential, and it can be extremely hard, taking responsibility can be even harder.
Taking responsibility requires us to look within and see our own faults. Yikes. Sometimes what we see is ugly, and it would be easier to blame it on someone or something else, to project that which we don’t want to deal with elsewhere.
But ya know? What we see on the inside, what we’re avoiding, spills out in ways we can’t always anticipate, aren’t always aware of, and we can never completely hide. We spew it out on people we love most, and we feel justified when we spew it out on someone who hurts us—when they hurt us intentionally, and even when they hurt us unintentionally.
What if I told you that just like forgiveness, taking responsibility is for you. To open yourself up to change and growth. To build your resilience.
When you solely blame someone or something else for things you have a part in too, you relinquish your power and hand over the keys to unlock your healing. You resign to a power struggle with someone or something you want to be liberated from. And isn’t that the opposite of what you want?
Your heart aches because you 𝑑𝑜 want something different. You want that thing you went through to 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛 something, to know you didn’t suffer in vain. You want to turn your pain into power.
Blame is like a ball and chain. If forgiveness is like the key out of the jail cell, responsibility is like the key out of the jail house. Cause when you can face yourself, girl, that’s powerful!
Jennifer J. Jones